Mon Oncle said, “You’ve been over there, haven’t you?” I said, “Yes, I have been to Europe four times.” We don’t know each other. He wrote me an email about Dr. Bronner’s soap, and I never answered it. This, to Mon Oncle, was a “faux pas.” Whenever I hear the word “faux pas” I think of a cat or a dog with a prosthetic foot. Mon Oncle has a “best friend” with the name of one of the Apostles. The Apostle lives across the street from Mon Oncle. They vacation together on the coast of Alabama. They eat dinner, borrow each other’s cars, and buy plants for their yard together. Mon Oncle was the member of a Secret Fraternity at one of the premier southern universities and never married. My mother says he never married because he is too independent. Now Mon Oncle sings in the Episcopal choir and volunteers at the local theatre. Sometimes I think Mon Oncle wishes he could tell us about the Apostle, but my parents are Baptist. He probably thinks I am a Baptist too. My father made the whole family boycott Disney. My father is appalled by the idea of San Francisco and “wearing flowers in your hair” or “bandanas in your pocket.” My mother thinks he had a “bad experience” when he was in the army. Mon Oncle will never leave Mississippi. He will live across the street from the Apostle and they will garden together forever.
speaking of europe, i wanted to tell you i bought a plane ticket to amsterdam for july. pretty happy about that.