Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

bus #15
October 18, 2009

08/23/2009
The woman walked up and said the bus would be late. She said one of the horses had been hit – the ones who take tourists around the city. She kept checking the timetable against her watch and yawned one long yawn after another. When the bus arrived she checked the front grillsĀ  and under [...]

stimulate your package
February 21, 2009

Protected sex at least five times a week will stimulate the economy. People will get exercise. Optimism will be restored. Ben Bernanke needs to get laid at least six times a week. CEOs and investors need to fuck eight times a week. People who are laid off from their jobs should have wild sex all [...]

bumper sticker
January 24, 2009

they all have a bumper sticker that they use for a blanket. it is clever for one minute. they pull it over themselves, up to their chins. some of them are mice, some of them are roaches, and some of them are pigeons. they all look the same when they are under their bumper sticker.
when [...]

losingit
May 13, 2008

Just saw a craigslist ad for a job as a “children’s photographer” and misread it as “children’s pornographer.”
Started reading Raymond Carver’s “Where I’m Calling From.” So far… fishing, boners, kids being the little shits they really are, and married people who hate each other. So! Uplifting!
The cats are all lazy (sonsof)bitches. They are no help [...]

the desert
April 26, 2008

The sun here beats down on you, and the mountains have shadows that look like fingers crawling out of them. Everything seems to be below you, except for they sky. We all go to bed early, and we’ve been eating alot. I have been walking in the morning up and down the hills on the [...]

Mon Oncle
April 1, 2008

Mon Oncle said, “You’ve been over there, haven’t you?” I said, “Yes, I have been to Europe four times.” We don’t know each other. He wrote me an email about Dr. Bronner’s soap, and I never answered it. This, to Mon Oncle, was a “faux pas.” Whenever I hear the word “faux pas” I think [...]

lunchtime casualties
March 27, 2008

1. cheese on sandwich and cream in coffee: suffering of cows on diary farms in pens that are barely big enough for them to move around in. alot of them probably get injected with things to make them produce more milk
2. chicken panini: caused chickens in tiny coops on trucks to travel thousands of [...]

stuck
March 18, 2008

I am having trouble making myself do the smallest task even though there isn’t anything I’d rather be doing. Instead I spend the whole time worrying about the fact that I’m not doing the thing I need to do and am not “productive.” When my cats are sitting on my lap I don’t want to [...]

your favorite sister
March 4, 2008

your favorite sister has a baby in her stomach
she lives in mississippi in a double-wide trailer
she says that barack obama is a muslim and she won’t never vote for him
your favorite sister made you a birthday cake and she gave you the spoon to lick
your favorite sister looks at you and doesn’t know what to [...]